What is Modulated Dialogue?

Savvy Writer Article #1203
There are four main types of dialogue: Modulated, Directed, Misdirected, and Interpolated. Wow, that’s a mouthful! In this series, I will be sharing basic facts about each style. Today it is . . .

Modulated Dialogue

Modulated Dialogue uses narrative commentary and details to enhance the dialogue. I also call this meat and potatoes dialogue. It’s the most common dialogue type, and it has a beat, which I discussed in my Words for the Journey lesson How to Write Remarkable Dialogue, Part 1. This is dialogue that goes back and forth between what the characters say and narrative description. Good authors get a beat with this—a nice back and forth that gives the writing rhythm.

With modulated dialogue, each line of dialogue is also a place for narrative details. One character may talk about the past, and this sparks internal thoughts which the author describes. Or, a character comments about his or her surroundings, then the author adds scene details before continuing with more dialogue. Body language is often described.

The following is an example of modulated dialogue, starring one of my favorite characters, James Bond, in a scene I made up for this occasion:

“I was wondering when you might show me this,” Bond said, touching the tiny microphone lightly.
Q whipped his arm back, taking the microphone with it. “That isn’t ready yet. What I want to show you is this.” He slowly removed the Mylar blanket that had been covering a large something to Bond’s left.
Bond’s sharp intake of breath was louder than he expected. What had been hiding under the blanket, the lump he had so arrogantly leaned upon as if it were furniture, was the most beautiful automobile he’d seen in his life. Metallic red reflected the laboratory lights as if they were the sun, and the sleek, cat-like design gave the feel of a jungle predator, sure-footed and fast.
“May I?” Bond asked, pointing to the driver-side door and fighting an almost desperate tone in his voice.
Q blinked slowly in assent. “Of course. Just don’t drink, eat, or smoke in it, please.”
“I quit smoking long ago,” said Bond.

This is modulated, meat and potatoes, dialogue. It just goes back and forth between dialogue and description, dialogue and description. It moves the story along, sets the pace, and lets us know what the characters are thinking and feeling (often through body language) and what the environment looks like. As a writer, you should practice modulated dialogue first and get your rhythm. Rhythm is part of your style and voice. Learn it well.

Next time we talk about dialogue, we’ll cover Directed Dialogue. It’s used to emphasize the tension between two people in a scene.
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This post is a re-post of an article on the Words for the Journey Writers Guild blog, with the title The Four Types of Dialogue, Part 1: Modulated Dialogue.

The Power of the Verbal Business Card, Part 1

Savvy Writer Article #1202 by DENISE MILLER HOLMES

Wherever you go, as a writer you need to promote yourself. You will especially need to promote when you are  engaging editors and agents at conferences. ALWAYS be ready to tell people what you do as a writer–and keep it to thirty seconds or less.

A dynamite way to do this is with a verbal business card. It’s very much like the “elevator pitch” you practice for your books, but it’s about you.

When asked what they do, most writers say, “I am a writer,” or, “I write romance novels,” or “I write historical non-fiction,” etc.  This response is somewhat interesting, but it doesn’t  grab. Proponents of the verbal business card say that you need to hook the listener, much like you hook the reader at the beginning of a novel.

Here is what a VBC does–it discards bland verbs like “I write” or “I am” and uses exciting verbs instead such as build, craft, teach, inform, manage, design, construct, generate, train, guide, establish, mentor, regulate, develop, structure, organize, etc.

The reason these verbs work better is they are verbs used to describe what authorities do. Teachers are authorities in our society. People who construct and train and design and regulate all have authority. Writers? Not so much.

Notice how much more powerful these statements are than “I am a writer”:

“I craft futuristic mystery stories that inform readers about social issues in an entertaining way.”

“I teach people who hate gardening how to care for their gardens in five easy steps  so they have more time to enjoy Life.”

If you are a Christian writer, here are more examples:

“I inform Christian women through my romance novels about God’s love, so they can find a deeper happiness.”

“I design materials for Sunday schools that helps primary-school-age children understand how to have a walk with God.”

“I teach teenagers about history through non-fiction that emphasizes the biblical worldview so they make constructive decisions.”

There are two more things we need to look at when writing a VBC–specificity and benefit.  These will be covered in Part 2.

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If you enjoyed this article, you will also like Market YOU Before Your Book: A Lesson in Passive Marketing

Market YOU Before Your Book: A Lesson in Passive Marketing

Savvy Writer Article #1201 by DENISE MILLER HOLMES

BAD NEWS. You’ve been told  publishing houses don’t market books anymore, they expect the author to do it.  A feeling of being overwhelmed envelops you as you ponder the new career you must add on to your writing–marketing. Typically, you handle this by learning how to market your books and your books alone. But a new wisdom is here. Writers need to market themselves before they ever market their books.

This is problematic for you. As a typical writer, you have a terrible time getting out there and letting people see you. What you want is to push your book in front of your face and say, “Don’t look at me. See this fabulous book and buy it. It wrote itself.”

But, the biggest authors get their names out there FIRST, before they ever have a book.

Passive Marketing is about doing things that get your name (and later, your products) out there in the public eye without overtly asking for the sale. It includes things such as distributing business cards (yes, a writer should have a business card); speaking to organizations; filling out profiles for Yahoo, Google, Blogger, and any place that asks; a professional head shot to put on your blog, your business cards, and your profiles; writing a blog; and actively presenting yourself on Facebook and Twitter, and, if you ghostwrite or speak–LinkedIn.

Please don’t think these things are a waste of time. They are very powerful. But, they are only the first step. You HAVE to get your name and presence out there in the public eye, or any active marketing you do later will fall flat. Of all the things listed above, I think speaking is the most powerful.

Overcoming your resistance to being SEEN is probably the hardest obstacle for you the writer to conquer. You may go through tough denial. You may think that you will be the one who writes the book that becomes the bestseller the minute it hits the shelves. It won’t happen!

But, you can choose to conquer your fear of being out there. When you do, the world will open to you.

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If you like this article, you may also like The Power of the Verbal Business Card, Part I because a VBC is a vital part of Passive Marketing.

This article is similar to one published in Denise Miller Holmes author blog  Writing Adventures– Passive Marketing Lesson for January 17th Writers’ Guild.

Does Your Plot Have a Theme?

Savvy Writer Article #1103  By DENISE MILLER HOLMES

Of all the elements of fiction, theme is the one least understood. It feels intangible, and gets easily lost when a writer plots.

But, theme is the very foundation of plot, so if you begin to push your characters around in order to make an exciting plot without regard for theme, you are in danger of losing the cohesiveness of your story.

Simply put, theme is the moral of the story. Your plot must tell a tale that demonstrates that moral or the reader will be confused.

For instance, the theme of the movie The Patriot starring Mel Gibson is you don’t have to be ruthless to fight a war and win. If you check out the plot, it demonstrates this theme from beginning to end.

The film’s opening scene has Benjamin Martin’s voice saying “I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear.” This fear, we find out in the opening sequence, came about because Benjamin fought a previous war ruthlessly. He feels so guilty about it,  he is now a pacifist.

But the current war pulls him in. If he is to save his family, he must fight. He begins by fighting with abandon, until his sons confront him and teach him he can fight with honor.

He struggles with this new moral truth. Toward the end, he is tempted to withdraw from the fight. He is filled with anger at the death of his son. He  believes that God is punishing him for past ruthlessness and that he must go back to pacifism. But he has a great epiphany…it is good to fight. His son fought. His son fought fairly. He son would want him to fight.

So he takes up arms and joins in the strategic battle against the British, and fights with honor. And thus, he wins the battle. He is a changed man—a man who gave up his flaw to realize a new way.

Does your plot support your theme? Remember, the character flaw, the false belief, the back story, the current inner struggle of your main character, and your plot, must reflect a moral premise. If not, your story isn’t a story, it’s just a plot.

Logline: What it Is and How to Write One

Savvy Writer Article #1102 By DENISE MILLER HOLMES

A logline is a one-sentence description of your story idea. You use it to both help you focus on the story you are writing as well as to pitch the idea to publishers, agents, and the like. Steven Spielberg likes it less than 25 words, and that’s what is usually done.

The first question the logline answers is, Who are the protagonist (hero) and antagonist (villain)?

In the case of Star Wars, the hero is Luke (a farm boy in a distant galaxy) and the villain is the evil empire. Darth Vader (a powerful sorcerer) is also the villain, and he represents the evil empire.

Then we have to ask, What is the goal of the hero? For Luke, the goal is to prevent Darth Vader and the evil empire from gaining more power and to reestablish the republic.

What is the goal of the villain?—to complete the takeover of the empire with the evil Syth in control.

Okay, so we see the conflict of the story. Now we have to implement some rules.

• Don’t use character names in your logline, tell the character’s role or title instead. (a farm boy, a princess, a housewife, a businessman)
• Describe your hero and villain (add adjectives)
• Communicate the setting, the time frame (if applicable), and the genre.
• Choose conflict that’s emotionally charged (Blake Snyder, in Save the Cat, recommends irony.)
• Use present tense
• Tell the setup only. Leave the conclusion a mystery

A strong-willed farm boy must become a warrior in order to join a rebellion against an evil galactic empire and its powerful sorcerer. ~Star Wars

Let’s break it down:

Farm-boy—tells his role but not his name

Strong-willed—gives just enough character description to understand that the empire is in for a fight and that our hero is flawed.

Warrior—another role the hero plays in the story, and this tells us there’s action.

Empire—that’s the bigger, social villain.

Evil—for this story, labeling the empire “evil” is enough. For another story, you would use a more specific adjective to describe the villain. You might contrast the adjective for the hero with the adjective for the villain, for instance, to show why there is conflict.

Galactic—lets us know it’s not an earth empire, like Ancient Rome, but a huge empire that involves many planets and people.  This also helps us know the genre, Science Fiction.

Sorcerer—this is the personal villain, and it also shows us that besides being SciFi, there’s a touch of fantasy, or magical realism, however you see it. There is also great contrast between the hero (a farm boy, who is a neophyte in “the force”) and a powerful sorcerer.

The conflict is emotionally charged because we have a farm-boy coming up against an evil empire. The stakes are high and the odds are against him.  This logline promises us an intense action-adventure science fiction story!

Here are more loglines:

Legally Blonde—A ditzy-blonde, California sorority president, dumped by her Harvard-Law-School boyfriend, leaves California and fights to succeed at Harvard Law to prove she is worthy of him. 

Pretty Woman—A businessman falls in love with a hooker he hires to be his date for the weekend.  (quoted in Save the Cat by Blake Snyder)  I might add an adjective for both “businessman” and “hooker,” but this is fine without it because there is such an obvious conflict/contrast between a businessman and a hooker.

Terminator—An ordinary waitress fights the attacks of an obsessed time-traveling robot who is trying to kill her because her future son will lead the resistance against the violent robotic rulers. (Yes, it’s a little long)

Remember that only you and the person to whom you are pitching will see your one-sentence summary. If it gives away some of the story, it’s okay. The reader/viewer never will see it.

Blake Snyder recommends being a “slave” to your logline because it keeps you on track while writing. If you want to make a major change, go back and work it out as a one-sentence summary.

What a short description like this does is strip down the story to its bare minimum. It allows you to see the plot conflict and if there is enough contrast between the hero and the villain. Before you write or change your plot, work it out as a logline to see if your story works.

DO YOU HAVE A LOGLINE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE? SHARE IT IN COMMENTS.

You may also like: Deepening Story Conflict with a Clash of Values.

Deepening Story Conflict With a Clash of Values: A Lesson from The Wizard of Oz

Savvy Writer Article #1101  By DENISE MILLER HOLMES

Most writers know that a good story has a clash between the main character and someone or something that comes against the hero. Conflict is usually thought of as two pitted against each other to achieve either the same or conflicting goals.

But, Stanley D. Williams, in his book The Moral Premise, says that the real story isn’t the external conflict. Instead, the real story is a clash of values.

We see an example of what Williams is talking about in the movie The Wizard of Oz.  In the movie, the external battle between the wicked witch and Dorothy is about who owns the ruby slippers.

Legally, the ruby slippers belong to the witch. They were her sister’s after all. But Dorothy owns them now and the witch is after Dorothy to get them.

The audience neither sympathizes with the witch (even though something rightfully hers was taken), nor do they root for her to regain possession of the slippers. Why? Because the witch is evil, the slippers are power, and no good person wants evil to gain more power.

That’s the external conflict. The internal conflict is about the lesson, the moral premise, the characters are supposed to learn—there’s no place like home. The slippers are Dorothy’s way home, and the witch is trying everything to prevent Dorothy from getting home. What’s great about home? The people are what’s great, specifically, the people you love.

From the beginning of the film, the script writers show Dorothy’s values.  We see that Dorothy truly loves her family when she meets the traveling wizard. The way he tricks her into going home is to tell her that Aunt Em is sick. She immediately forgets her fear of Toto being taken, and rushes home!

Contrast this with the scene where the witch finds her sister dead—crushed beneath Dorothy’s house. There are no tears. All the witch wants are the ruby slippers.

This scene shows us that the only thing the witch cares about is power.  People don’t matter to her. That’s what makes her scary.

So in The Wizard of Oz, a set of opposite values is presented—the belief that happiness is found through loving and attaching to people versus the opposite belief that happiness is found through shunning any attachment or love. These worldviews are shown often throughout the film in various ways and are the real conflict of the story. The external conflicts are only a result of those values.

Following The Moral Premise’s main point, there is a depth that is added to your story when, savvy Christian writer, you make sure the gold or the love interest or exposing/hiding the truth isn’t the only clash between your good guy and bad guy. Make the underlying conflict a clash of worldview—a clash of values.

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You may also like Logline: What it is and How to Write One